31st March 2010, 9.10pm
It is not what it was said but how it was said:
A man unknowingly hurt his partner by speaking in an uncaring manner and then goes on explain why she should not be upset. He mistakenly assumes she is resisting the content of his point of view, when really his unloving delivery is what upsets her. When a man neglects to honor a woman's hurt feelings he invalidates them and increases her hurt. It is hard for him to understand her hurt because he is not as vulnerable to uncaring comments and tones. On the other hand, woman start and escalate arguments by first sharing negative feelings about their partner's behaviour and then by giving unsolicated advice. When a woman feels her relationship being challenged the tone of her speech automatically becomes increasingly mistrusting and rejecting. This kind of rejection which woman unaware of is more hurtful to a man, especially when he is emotionally involved. However knowing these truth will not be sufficient enough to solve the problem, I've not finish reading the solution yet, shall post it next time, sorry to keep you in suspense.
~credits to men are from mars, women are from venus~
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